FACEBOOK AND THE THINGS PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY HAVE ONE

Barely three weeks after my Facebook activation, I finally got caught up with the buzz and the fever. For years, I have been egging to have my own Facebook account, but because I have become witness as to how social networking can be a boon, I have intentionally shooed away from the phenomenon that is Facebook. Yet, for whatever reasons people have in maintaining one, I have gone on to realize that the benefits of social networking is something that every person can partake of, regardless of the strata in society he belongs.

Nevertheless, observant that I am, I have become witness too on the so many things people do in order to maintain their facebook account. I just hope that no one gets offended by this. It is just for fun.

THE PROFILE PIC

I am sure that every account owner wanted to have their best profile picture posted on theirs for after all who would want “a face only a mother can love” plastered all over the net. When it is time to post the profile pic, we busy ourselves finding the best photo available that we would like people to remember about us. And since one of the benefits of Facebook is to keep abreast with long-lost friends whom we have never seen for years, it is only but logical that they get to see us in our best profile pic. For those wanting to find a mate, a search on the net that would yield to a good-looking picture might actually do the trick too. The profile pic, therefore is the account owner’s official (changeable) logo to the world.

For her account, PETRA chose a photo that was taken five years ago when time did not accord her yet with all the lines and the white hair. She certainly looked stunning in that picture, among the very few moments that people, other than her mother, actually considered her pretty. For one, she did not want people to see that apart from not progressing a bit in terms of her physique, she too actually aged more than her actual years. True enough, the moment friends of old started coming in, even them were one in saying that PETRA was a swan who grew up from an ugly duckling- after all they knew her as someone who would not easily throw herself into the frame everytime a picture was taken. But after the profile pic has been posted, PETRA rarely published photos of her taken very recently. If at all, the photos were panoramic, or those that would take a mighty zoom in order to get a clear view of how the persons depicted thereat looked like.

Meanwhile, before ROSENDA posted her profile pic, she made a quick tour to the nearby salon to have her hair and face done by the senior stylist the shop can offer. Nevermind that she spent more than enough cash that could have been money saved for her kids education- she was not one to be outdone by her classmates or friends, more importantly by her husband’s ex who seem not to age a bit, well at least based on the profile pic on the account. Certainly, she did not want the other girl to know that she was inferior in the looks department and that her husband made the wrong choice as to who he should be with. Even at home or in the office, she became weary of how pictures of her should be taken- no stolen shots please! In short, everytime a picture was taken, she should have gone first an arduous process to make sure that she looked good. To top it all, she went on to study the rudiments of photoshop just so that she would be the one to personally edit the pictures before the same are published on the net. However, come “get-together” time, the trips to the salon could not hide the maturity that she had gone through over the years. No amount of photoshop can window dress the added poundage brought about by motherhood and all the years that have not been apportioned to physical fitness.

LANDO meanwhile uses cartoon logos every now and then for his profile pic. He said that he wanted to maintain an air of mystery so that his old friends would simply wonder as to how he actually looked like after all these years. Especially since when he was young, he was the campus heartthrob, the boy next door and every girl’s apple of the eye. He definitely wanted to remain that way in the minds of the people who knew him. He likewise said that being a private person, he was not comfortable in knowing that people would take a look at his pictures every now and then that is why he never bothered to post any picture with him on it. Kinda ironic, considering that when one registers for facebook, it is the formal foray into public scrutiny, a surrender of the precious privacy that we used to enjoy. The truth is far from his cover story. LANDO, today has more face to wash and less hair to comb apart from a 38-inch pants size, depending on the time of the day.

I, for one have my own share of oddness in this department too. While I am proud to say that I am among those you could consider as “ugly duckling turned frog prince” (hehe but wait, is that the same story), my worries meanwhile come in the form of old pictures suddenly popping out from nowhere, tagged here and there. For those people who knew me just in recent years, they get to realize upon seeing these tagged old pictures that I was not born handsome after all. Hehe. In fact, at one time when these old pictures came up, the sarcastic comment I posted on a friend’s wall was: “How surprising for you to be able to save old pictures, unlike me who had no pictures of my younger years, most were lost in the great floods, the rest I threw away”. But then again, in order to appease myself, I make sure that today, the difficulty I encounter is finding a profile pic from among so many good pictures available for display.

THE PHOTOS

Gone were the days when we used to say “kodak-kodak” everytime we had our pictures taken, for nowadays, we get to say “give your best Facebook pose.” Before, when the necessity of a camera was for posterity purposes, today, the camera is best utilized to capture cherished moments for upload in MARK ZUCKERBERG’s social network. It is also the avenue to declare to the world that one has gone places, been to the best dining places here and there, tried the best rides in just about every theme park known to men, and have extreme mileage points in airline memberships. Photos, after all are a depiction of the years that have gone by, a testament as to how life was either very good or otherwise. If it was the former, then they certainly deserve a spot in your photo page.

JOJO was a salesman of dispensers for a water refinery company. Though having only above average income, the best part of his work is that he gets to tour the Philippines for free, to give sales pitches on products they sell. In each of these trips, he makes it a point to take photographs of himself with famous landmarks as backdrops as well as native products by which said places are known for. Nevermind that he never actually buys them. And you guess it right, the photos immediately land in the photos of his facebook account thereby giving him the attention he must have been seeking from his online friends.

CHANDA, a nouveau rich resides and works in the United States and as such is used to travelling left and right to attend conventions and seminars there and abroad. Like any other facebook-er, she makes it a point to keep memoirs of her travels by taking photographs of the beautiful places she has gone to, with her sophisticated business outfits and top-of-the-line Chanel and LV bags. She also keeps tabs of restaurants she dined on, and even the wines and champagnes she had tasted along the way, as if she was a wine connoisseur. In some of the pics, she even boasted of having tried dishes that were prepared by a chef known to an acquaintance of an acquaintance of Tom Cruise. And when she visited the “rockies”, she made sure that her kids were photographed playing in snow ala winter wonderland. And like any ordinary facebook-er, she gets to upload these on the net. The motive behind was somehow unsavory as she does so in order to spite her old friends whom she says treated her badly in the past. By uploading the photos, she derived the satisfaction in believing that her old friends must be gnashing their teeth in envy over what she has accomplished.

JULIE, married at a young age and mother of four, has never been employed nor traveled since her graduation from college. She did not have pictures of her in conferences donning business suits, or making presentations to clients. As such, all she could afford was dig into old pictures of her as well as that of her children. She likewise chose photographs of “once in a blue moon” outings with family and relatives, have them scanned in a nearby internet café and upload to her facebook account. When the opportunity allows her, she would borrow her daughter’s camera phone and take photographs of just about anything, such as the neighbor’s cat or her purchase of a new pair of Habayanas slippers. At one time, she made a planned trip to a mall’s Starbucks just to have her pictures taken thereat. She did not have much that is why she makes do of the simple things in order to keep up with friends who seem to upload to facebook every photo they have.

I am the type of guy who did not really like pictures. Eversince I was young, I never fancied being photographed maybe because I never looked good in any of them. Remember that I threw most of them away. That is why when it was time to take photographs, the phobia must have overcome me. In all the trips in the four corners of the country, there were few pictures. The chance and scheduled meetings with three ex-Presidents, or dinners with lawmakers, not one picture. How about the repeated official trips to Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Hongkong, Vietnam and Singapore; the various seminars in Perth, Brisbane, Canberra, Sydney and Auckland; the speaking engagements in Sudan before the Legislature and the presentations made at the International Cyber Crime Summit in New York and the Law Enforcement Day at the United Kingdom, both held last year; delivering a speech before 500 attendees of the E-Council Summit in Kuala Lumpur three years ago; the “meryenda” at The Ritz and coffee with the Saint Paul’s Cathedral and proud London architecture in the background. Not much pictures! How could I miss all those “kodak moments” and let them remain as “hallmark memories” to last a lifetime? Now, it seems that I need to redo them all over again just to be like CHANDA or JOJO or any ordinary facebook-er who prides to have been around. Truth of the matter is I am the one who envies you guys for you are best at keeping memoirs of your lives.

THE PROFILE INFORMATION

Like the photos, this is where we either proudly declare to the world what we are or choose to be magnanimous about some things. The profile information likewise put words to the uncaptioned pictures thereby giving your friends the idea on how you have been doing or where you have been. The fact is while some people do not mind, there are a number of people who are too eager in knowing every information you put in your profile. A beautiful blogger experimented on putting the word “engaged” in her status to drive away her suitors and the same caused quite a stir among her online friends. People known to her and her boyfriend even had to call them by phone to inquire if the latter had indeed popped the magic words which made the girl change her facebook status. In short, the profile information you write do not only serve as object of discussion to your online friends, but they titillate the imagination too.

ANTONIA, a party-goer cum socialite prefers to be called TONETTE and as such uses the same in her profile information. Totally different compared to the nickname TUNYING she was previously known for. Except for the university she attended in college, she did not mention anything about her primary and secondary education and always almost seem to have the knack for avoiding such topics in discussions with friends and associates. Her pride for the exclusive school she attended to attain her course was the exact opposite compared to the cold reception she gave to the schools she attended in her younger years. As such, she regulates invitations to her account to a selected few who knew her from college days onwards and in the instances when friends from her primary and secondary school sent friend requests, she constantly denied them.

LIAN, a banker had limited information listed in her profile information. Not only did she not mention her marital status, she likewise intentionally did not disclose any information on her private life. It was not known if she was not proud about being separated from her husband, but even her being mother to two beautiful kids was unheard of in her profile information. None of his kids’ pictures appeared in any of her published photos and almost all her pictures were that of her alone. When she posted messages on her wall, not once did she mention of her kids, yet she was quick to extend greetings to friends celebrating their birthdays. So many times she changed information pertaining to her work and residence but again never anything about her children. Overprotective? A lot of people doubt. And because she was pretty, to receive friend requests from the opposite sex was just ordinary.

RAUL, a nautical engineer wanted to impress to everyone that he had a girl in every port. He proudly declares to the world his relationship and even mentions the name of his supposed significant others in his profile information with matching pictures to boot. As such, his online friends constantly followed his constantly changing status in his profile and he enjoyed all the attention he was getting. Too bad, when two of the so many women he mentioned as his lovers came out in the open to deny the relationships, the others too had sprouted out like mushrooms and lambasted RAUL for his imaginary relationships. The news spread like wildfire and all of the sudden, Mr. Loverboy turned into Mr. Dream On Boy.

Like the title of this blog, I wanted to mention the same in the status field of my profile information. Nevertheless, I decided not to, not because I wanted to be like any of the personalities I mentioned above but because I did not think there was a need for it. After all, for those who know me well, my life is an open book of sorts, a great portion of it in fact I discuss in my blogs. And unlike some who would not post pictures of their kids thereby leaving something for the imagination, I am entirely proud of my kids, for why would I not be if there are two intelligent and beautiful children carrying the same surname as mine. I am quite proud too of the schools I attended because they all carry stories of my checkered past, and friends who have remained that throughout the years. If at all, I must admit that there is something I am longing to place in my profile information but I could not do so at the moment because of the complications. One day, I hope to be able to proudly declare that in the world.

NOTIFICATIONS, FRIEND REQUESTS AND MESSAGES

I am quite sure that the first thing every account holder does is look into the upper left side portion of his account everytime he logs in to know if there are new friend requests, messages and notifications. And when you do, I am sure that you have contrasting feelings when you find out that there are new ones or when not a single red mark appears thereat. I am sure that some never run out of friend requests, a testament to how popular he must be to his peers. And on the contrary, there must also be some people who grow tired of opening their accounts every now and then but not see red marks there at all.

MINDA does not have an account but much of her time is spent to facebook-ing. Why? She knows the passwords to her husband SANTINO’s account and as such snitches into it almost all the time she has the chance to do so. When a friend request comes in, especially those coming from girls, she would accept them and engage them into a chat as if he was SANTINO just to know how related they are with her husband. Not only that. As she was aware of the names of some of her husband’s flings, she managed to check them out in the net and add them in the friend list and most of the time await for incriminating messages from these girls.

DANNY, an average guy owns and manages a car repair shop. By the time he was introduced to facebook, most of his classmates of old have been actively into it. That is why when he learned from photographs that the group had actually gone to hold reunions, he felt sad that he was not even invited. He initially blamed it to not having any facebook account but still, he could not get over the fact that one of his classmates resides just a stone’s throw away from where he lives yet the guy never managed to notify him. The sad realization dawned unto him when at one time he went online, he discovered that the group was again planning to hold another get-together, and like before it seems that not one wanted to invite him. One of the messages he read said: “Wag na natin isama, hindi marunong bumunot si DANNY kapag gastusan na eh.”

ROWELL was among the first people to have a facebook account. In 2009 after he broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years, he decided to leave town and isolate himself from his old world. He also did not open his facebook account until August 2010 when he returned from his exodus. He was surprised to find out that there were 32 friend requests and 50 more messages and notifications from his friends. They missed him after all and it brought a smile on his face. Nevertheless, the smile was short-lived as none of the messages came from his ex. He went on to discover that his ex had a new facebook account, thus, he sent a request to add her, but it has been months since the same was made but no positive response.

Recently, I learned that my classmates have been in constant contact through facebook. It was only then that I also learned that they have been planning to hold a get together years after graduation. In the exchange of messages among them, not once that they mentioned my name, or at least remind each other that I was a classmate too. I tried very hard to look into old posts to know if some of them vouched the idea of inviting me, since without having to brag, I could afford to fly in just about any place they would choose to hold the gathering. I was never known to be like DANNY above. But there was none. I must admit that I was sad, frustrated if you may call it. All the while, I thought a unique job and constant TV appearances that reached even the Filipino channel abroad were enough reason for my classmates to claim that I was among them. “USA-BATCH III rocks!” one of them declared and here is the guy who rocked it for them very VISIBLY here in the Philippines and yet not one remembered him. Did I not make a mark on them in the four years we were together or they find me obnoxious, one who might spoil the party they were planning? This inference in me was indeed frustrating. Why did I have to have facebook and learn this realization painfully.

NEWS FEEDS

With the advent of the technology that is facebook, activities of our partners become known to just about everyone, thus, all of a sudden exclusivity has become a thing of the past. Whereas before when you get to be informed first, nowadays, the wall gets to know it ahead, and simultaneously the friends become informed through the news feeds. Ironically for the very busy ones who only get to open their account at the end of the day, they only find out their significant other’s activities at that time when all is over but the shouting. And for relationships that have become estranged, each of the parties is brought out of the inner circle, that is they either lose knowledge of the ex’s activities or become the last to know.

At the start of every day, LUKRING always makes it a point to post her activities in her wall via her IPhone. And for more than once, she chanced upon suitors and stalkers being in the same place as she earlier declared she would be. Later on, she realized that these guys have made a passion out of monitoring her daily activities. When she posts messages saying that she craved for a particular chocolate, before the day ends expect the sweets to be at her doorstep. When she says that she was preparing for the birthday of her sister, in due time a cake would be delivered to the house coursed through her. She did not enjoy this at all. So LUKRING went on to post the messages after the activities have been performed thereby making a fool out of her stalkers.

MILA is one who never knew how to manage her finances well. She acquires debts left and right but is not keen on settling them, thus, she gains enemies along the way. Even her very few friends had grown tired of MILA’s bad habit that they too could not bear being with her. Being broke and desperate, she went on to post a daily message on her wall seeking loans from her online friends. Nevermind that some called her pathetic, what was important was to secure a loan to defray her expenses. In due time, a kind-hearted friend from way back was good enough to provide her the money but only after MILA promised to settle the same in a month’s time. Come the scheduled date of payment, the friend texted MILA to remind her of the promise but to no avail. MILA went on to make just promises and worse, she became irritated by the friend who was collecting. Pathetic as she was, MILA even had the nerve to post a message in her wall to declare to the world that the friend was: “Mukang pera!”

There are countless more stories I know and have heard of and it may take another article to have them all published here. You may likewise find the stories similar to what you do, or resembling that of someone you know, but I tell you, each one of us may have been like any of the persons mentioned above at one time or another. For now, let us enjoy the uniqueness of social networking in the wired world while it lasts.

See you next time.